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My Public Fart Blamed On MY Son!

posted by Bruce th Moose - Feb 2010
Current Status: 68.42%
Event - Walking down the isle of our local supermarket, my 8 year old son following behind, 2 old ladies ahead of us... Dropped an atomic bomb fart, rattled the cans of soup on the shelf and simulated a WW1 gas attack! The old ladies turned to look, both frowning, so quick on my feet, I turned to my son and said: Did you have to do that? Couldn't you wait?) He looked perplexed and then shocked, (still recovering from the massive gassing... he was right behind me!). Now 14, he still hasn't forgiven me!
Apology - Not really sorry to be honest, but how can one resist when such a good joke is handed to you on a plate? I still laugh about it (often!). Maybe... in about 20 years... he'll laugh too! ;)
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Total Judges - 247
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Tags (search words) -   False Fart Blame

Soccer Game

posted by Pip - Feb 2010
Current Status: 81.22%
Event - I told my daughter that last week was the last game of her soccer season even though this Sunday would have been, because I wanted to watch the hockey finals. She's 6 and seemed okay with it. They already had the team party.
Apology - Yes I'm a horrible horrible man. I keep going back and forth if I did a bad thing. I guess if Im confessing here I think i did and I should be sorry for it.
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Total Judges - 245
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Tags (search words) -   soccer   hockey

Security Guard

posted by Security Guard - Feb 2010
Current Status: 87.39%
Event - I used to work at the front gate of a college. No one is supposed to get in without a parking permit, but this one guy swore up and down he just needed to run in for 2 seconds and get a book out of class and he couldn't find parking elsewhere. I didn't feel right about it, but I told him if he left his car by the shack and made it quick, I'd let him. He ran and came back about 15 minutes later. His hands were empty and I asked where the book was. He just ignored me and jumped in his car and took off. I later found out he had beaten some other guy up and that was the only reason he was there.
Apology - I do realize he could have gotten on the campus in some other way, but I always felt like I somehow assisted him and made a getaway car convenient for him. I was trying to be nice, but learned after that to just do my job and forget about being nice. They did get him later. I'm just sorry that I was a part of it in the first place. And sorry that someone got beaten up.
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Total Judges - 238
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Tags (search words) -   school   security

Homeless Guy

posted by Pritchard - Feb 2010
Current Status: 53.87%
Event - We had a garden that would produce a sh**load of tomatoes that the rats would sometimes eat. So my mom made me pick the ones we wouldn't need before the rats got to them and take them down to the shelter. But sometimes my friends and I would take the extras and chuck them at homeless people under the pier. We would joke that they were getting something to eat too, so everyone was a winner.
Apology - Simply bad. I didn't bring them to the shelter, so those people didn't get to enjoy them. And I acted as thogh the homeless people were beneath me and I was cruel. I have volunteered in a hospital since then, so I hope that has made up for some of that. I'm sorry for my behavior.
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Total Judges - 388
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Tags (search words) -   homeless   tomatoes

My Soaked Child

posted by Ted - Feb 2010
Current Status: 62.87%
Event - I told my wife last week to stop babying my son. He didn't want to wear a heavy jacket. It was sunny, but she said it was supposed to rain. I told her to lighten up. It poured and my son came home looking like a drowned rat.
Apology - Well, it seems that you were right in this case :) Sorry. When you check the weather forcast I will trust you next time. My apologies. But the boy had fun being wet.
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Total Judges - 342
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Tags (search words) -   rain   sorry
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Haven't you lived with the guilt long enough?!  Think about all the times you've messed up over the years - the people you've hurt - the fights you've started - the carpets you've soiled!

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